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Why Moms Suffer with Mom Guilt at Bedtime

Updated: Jan 23, 2022

I can't count the number of times that I've went to bed with the weight of mom guilt on my shoulders. If I tried to add up all the times I've had mom guilt at bedtime I'm sure my calculator would burst into flames. Super dramatic, especially since I don't have a calculator - but you get where I'm going with this. It happens a lot and way more often than I'd like it too. For me, mom guilt at bedtime is thee absolute worst because now the kids are asleep and I can't redeem myself - or should I say I cannot redeem the time that I feel I've missed with them. My only option is to try again the next day but unfortunately and more often then not, it's usually more of the same.

The truth is, when I'm staring into their bedroom doorway at 11:00 pm, watching them sleep like the weird mom that I am, I miss them. I can't help but to think that I should have laughed more, played more, talked more, and asked more questions. You know, I could have been more present. And now they are asleep.

  1. Do they know I love them?

  2. Was I kind today?

  3. Am I doing this right?

I sure hope they don't remember me in all my sleep deprived craze. These are the thoughts that swirl through my mind.

Here comes the guilt. The thought of not living up to my own expectation for what kind of mom I want to be. The relentlessly patient and loving mom that's firm and gentle.

Moms juggle parenthood and adulthood like spaghetti. I don't know if that makes any sense but I'm really hungry while typing this and visually I can see that juggling spaghetti is really hard. So let's go with it. Yeah. It's like we don't get enough time to be the mom we want to be. Only the mom that our schedules allow us to be. We're tired. We're cranky. We are not our best selves. But we keep going because there is laundry, dinner, chores and every other mental note we have swirling through our heads. Even with the help of a spouse and family it still just seems, impossible. Oh the guilt.

I wish I didn't scream at them before bedtime.
I wish I could have made a healthier dinner.
I wish I read that bedtime story they asked me to read.
I wish I weren't on my phone so much today.
I wish I were more present.
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner. I said that I was weird - didn't I?

Video for reference if you're a little weird too and not old enough to know the reference.
So what do we do? How do we combat this mom guilt at bedtime? I have an idea. Write a list of all the things your kid asked you to do this week that you didn't have time to do because life got in the way.

Have your list? Okay. Great. Tomorrow, before you wash any more laundry, cook any meals, or start any chores - go be present for 15-30 minutes with your child. Whatever else you feel you have to do - do it later. I promise you it can wait.

Are mornings super chaotic? No worries, add my bedtime book to your nightly routine. Check out "What Did We Miss" a hilarious bedtime story that will help you and your child end the day on a light hearted note. It's a hilarious tale about two kids who think bedtime is a party and two parents that find it to be a bust!

So much,

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1 Comment

Montana Tilton
Montana Tilton
May 11, 2022

So true! I 100% feel these exact feelings. As a mom we have a lot of jobs and it usually doesn’t include fun stuff! As a single mom I really struggle to make sure I have everything I need done for my children plus their wants. Very hard balancing act when you’re only human yourself and have so much to worry about! I’ll definitely be trying the list idea. hopefully I can stop being so hard on myself! Thanks for sharing this ♥️

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